Its time to kick off the new year and semester with a much anticipated new update. And as a little bonus, I'm introducing a new recurring feature called "When I'm King..." in which I will let you all know in advance of some of the changes you'll have to get used to once I am the all powerful and unquestionable lord and master of everything everywhere. Fasten your seatbelts, here we go.
When I'm King, there will be no unwanted teen pregnancies. There will be no starving children in Ethiopia. And we will finally stop feeling guilty every time we see those "for the price of a cup of coffee, you can help this little girl get an education" commercials. Why? Because none of those will exist anymore. How? Mandatory birth control. Let me elaborate.
Its sometimes painfully clear that some people just should not have children. Ever. I'm talking primarily about families or parents that are either abusive or do not have the means of adequately supporting a child. Thats where my knights and I step in. Every couple that wants to have children must be approved to do so by passing a series of evaluations. These evaluations examine the couple's income, living situation, extended family, substance abuse history, mental state, and general wellbeing among other things. If we decide that the couple is capable of raising a child in a reasonably non-threatening atmosphere, then they will be a approved. I should make it clear now that it would be by no means hard to pass the test. This is simply to keep the obvious people from having children. People like 13 year old girls, heroin addicts, people who can't even afford to feed themselves, pedophiles, physically or verbally or sexually abusive assholes, and others. This is by no means a campaign to cleanse the world of the impure (man that felt weird to type), its about protecting those who can't protect themselves. The kids.
The only question is how to do it. There needs to be someway to ensure that the only way to get pregnant is to take some pill or shot or something that only the administrators have. For most of their lives, the rest of the population (just one gender I suppose) would be completely sterile. Free to have as much sex as they want without ever worrying about the worst STD of all.