Thursday, October 4, 2007

Damn subconcious tendencies

Thanks to millions of years of evolution, men are always on the prowl. There is nowhere we go that we aren't constantly checking out every single female within reasonable age. In such places as in class, on the road, at funerals, and probably during surgery, there is no woman within eyesight that goes unnoticed. As you can see, this can become quite hazardous while operating heavy machinery or trying to pay attention in class. So, in an effort to both focus on things that are really important and rebel against my own biological urges in the hopes of conquering this transportation module we call a body, I am forcing myself to view the opposite sex just as I would my own. To view them not as this thing that my hormones have been driving towards for 21 long years, but as a person. I'm not saying before this I treated women as something other than a person, but there are definite differences between how I act around guys and girls (especially attractive ones). Corinne and Camille are exceptions because we've known each other so long and they may as well just be guys who don't play video games.

So far I've been trying this for a little over a month now. It used to be that driving to school as many as three attractive women would force me to suddenly focus all my attention on them for the three or four seconds they were in view. It happens everywhere. And the weird thing is, I really didn't notice it that much until I tried to stop. Its hard. Its involuntary, its like breathing. There's no thought or conscious action. You just do it.

It used to be that every girl I met or shared a room with was a potential 'intimate partner', if you will. In the case that more than one girl shared that room, the more attractive receives all the attention and the others are largely ignored (not always, but mostly in a new setting). I would happily make friends with the other guys in the room and ignore the women (even the attractive one for fear of looking stupid and thus ruining all chances of future action). I decided that it had to change. No longer would every girl be a potential candidate for relations. Now there is no pressure to always be on the lookout and no fear of looking stupid. So far, its been hard. Fighting your own body is a steep challenge. But I think I'm winning. I'm certainly getting more work done anyway.

5 comments:

Camille said...

"sometimes i wish i were a real boy."

im still getting used to this whole christian is a sexual being thing... keep it coming though- its entertaining.

oh and thanks for the shout out- i was wondering where corinna and i fit into all of this

Camille said...

fuck. corinnE typo!

Jimmy said...

is this like the first of many posts that lead to you eventually saying you like guys now?

Christian said...

Crap, theyre on to me...

andy said...

i heard the first draft of this speech while we were sharing a shower in China...